5 Words to Save Your Love Story

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Don’t you just love a good love story?  I love to read, I love to write, and when there is a new Hallmark movie advertised on television, my husband goes ahead and clicks record on the DVR.  “Which movie is that?” he will invariably ask, “Is it the one where the big shot professional type hits a rough break and has to go home to the small town and get back to his roots?  I bet he’s going to meet somebody and fall in love.”

We all know what’s actually going to happen in most books and films.  Why do we keep going back to the same storyline?  Maybe it’s because, whether the story takes place in a coffee shop, bakery, farm, restaurant kitchen, florist shop, or a house that was left in a will, they all have one thing in common.  These stories weave a thread of hope.  Yes, things could have gone a little better.  But, on the other hand there’s a better day.

I think real life is the same way, don’t you?  When we first get started out on our own, we often picture that life going a certain way, however that is rarely how things turn out.  The life you have may not be what you pictured, your character may take a little rough patch, but there is a formula that produces a good end.

Proverbs 18:21(NKJV)

21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

(Biblegateway.com)

This Scripture is so powerful.  It has been said that women speak an average of 20,000 words per day.  (I don’t even want to get into characters per text message!)  Of all of the words that come out of our mouth every single day, how many do you think would speak life?  What about the rest?

Our attitude is so important in all of life–especially in marriage.  The person we love is not always going to do the right thing, say the right thing, or treat us like a princess.  I doubt there are very many good books, however, that allow the female protagonist to scream, hit, throw the china and crystal across the kitchen into pieces, or tear the male protagonist down with ugly words or actions.  That’s not good literature.  That’s not good cinema.  That’s not good life.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to visit the end of a tale of a storybook heroine turned evil.  Talk about unhappily ever after!  So, if anyone else has hit that place in your marriage–not the ecstatic beginning, (certainly not a bitter end!) but just a middle with a rough patch in it–I have 5 words that you can use to turn your story around…

God, please bless my husband!

Praying for his blessing instead of pointing fingers is the game changer to…  End.  All.  Game changers.  Here is a place that you can take your creativity and put it to work.  Find all the Scriptures in the Bible of what you want your marriage to look like and who you want to be as a couple, and Speak Life.

Here are a few to get you started:

Numbers 6:24-26, Psalm 23. Psalm 91, Isaiah 58:11, Isaiah 60:1-2 & 19, Isaiah 61:1-3

Speaking in line with God’s word is also a powerful tool to use in your marriage.  Here’s my list of confessions to go along with the first chapter or two of Tony Evans’ book Kingdom Man.

Just doing this one thing has been SO pivotal in my life and marriage.  I wish that I had been more diligent to be a prayer warrior for my man right from the start!  The most amazing thing is that it doesn’t take a lot of energy or the perfect prayer.  Just a few minutes while you are fixing his coffee or while you’re in the shower is an awesome way to honor your man and let God take hold of his day!  Now it’s your turn.  What are your favorite Scriptures to pray over your husband?  Let everyone know in the comments below!

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Praying for Your Kingdom Man

As our Summer Love series is drawing to a close, I want to encourage y’all to keep praying for your man!  I have absolutely fallen in love with Tony Evans’ book Kingdom Man, and I highly recommend reading It.  (Even if you are not a man!!)  Here is a list of Scripture confessions that you can pray and speak over your man (and your marriage) as you read along in this amazing book!

My man is a Kingdom Man.

His main goal is to keep out evil and usher in good.

He stands by God’s holy Word and sets the stage for a battle to be won.

He is governed by the Kingdom of Heaven to rule his heart and our family well.

He recognizes the authority of his God-given leadership.

He rules by God’s rule.

Yahweh is his master and absolute ruler.

He yields to Christ’s leadership so that he would experience the dominion and authority that he was created to have.

He operates with responsibility, consistency, wisdom, faithfulness, and dedication in his realm.

When God searches for a man to advance His kingdom, God calls my husband’s name.

He is present and not absent from our lives.

His heart and his life are turned over to Jesus.

He accepts God’s salvation.

He is fired up about and consumed with God and His Holy Word.

He is calm, consistent, and caring.

He leads his children to Christ.

Every day he models the value of making God and His Word the central focus in all that we do.

He exhibits the courage to be dedicated to God.

My kingdom man positions himself and operates according to the comprehensive rule of God over every area of his life.  Every area of life feels the positive impact of his presence.

He makes no silent choices.  He has something to say, he takes on his Christian life as a challenge, and he considers it his quest to conquer the enemy.

His power surrenders to God’s rules, loving God first, and demonstrating His love to others.

Loving your Kingdom Man: 3 Steps to Happy

This summer, I have been writing about the love in our lives…and making room for more.  More love.  We are expressing more love for the Father, and we are taking time to receive more of the love of God in our lives.  Now, I want to look at loving the people in our lives.  For me, that starts with loving my husband.  Let me preface this by saying that we have never had a storybook marriage.  My sister has a sign above the doorway in her den that says,

“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”

I always said that my sign would probably say,

“We may not have our act together, but together…

we have an act.”

Go ahead and picture it, add a bluegrass country background, and get Joaquin and Reece to sing the soundtrack.  We are the Johnny and June of homeschool parenting, believe it or not.  When it’s good, it’s really good and when it wasn’t, well… you get the picture.

I just don’t want you to think I’m sitting up on some gated community patio sipping lemonade in a designer outfit with my hair and nails done up to perfection, trying to tell you something that I haven’t actually lived.  This is my life.  It is real.  It is gritty as the sand in a Smoky Mountain creek bed, but I do believe that God has cultivated a pearl out of the grit that wasn’t there before.

When I look at loving my man, I look to Jesus.  I have heard it said, “God made me, and He knows how to fix me.”  I believe the same is true for our relationships–especially the second most important one in our lives.  God knows how to fix what’s broken in your life and marriage.  Believe it or not, He also knows how to cultivate joy in that same relationship.

So, how does that happen, exactly?  It’s not a magic fix.  But, it is a “Promise.”  It takes a little work…and faith…and patience.  Sound familiar?  (Hebrews 6:10-12)  Here’s what I would tell my 12 years ago self, fixing to head into a rip-roaring bluegrass rollercoaster:

1.  Be Quick to Forgive…

God sees it all.  He knows what the outcome will be in every situation, but it’s kind of like I tell my kids:

If you try to “take care” of the problem your way, then I won’t be able to take care of the problem the right way.

When we choose to forgive the person we are married to (that means we lay down our “right” to respond or lash out), then we are leaving room for the Holy Spirit to free us and take care of the situation.  Forgive.  Forgive them.  Forgive yourself.  Live free.

2.  Honor Him.

Looking for little ways to honor your marriage partner is actually honoring God.  It’s not huge.  It’s not complicated.  But, it makes a really big impact.  At my house, I know that most mornings my husband will need a shirt ironed for work, and every morning he will appreciate a travel mug of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter.  Those are two things I try to do every day to bless him as he goes out the door, no matter what.  Ask your husband what he needs or do something little that he will appreciate every day.  It makes a difference.

3.  Pray for Your Kingdom Man

The most impact of anything that I have ever done in my marriage has been PRAYER!!!  I have read and prayed aloud through Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Wife.  I have read through the Scriptures and said them aloud with his name in them.  This summer, I picked up a book that my mother bought him for Father’s Day 3 years ago.  (Fun fact:  My husband would rather drop off the face of the earth than read a men’s self-help or marriage book.  He is a Mitford fan!)

Tony Evans’ Kingdom Man is packed with treasure about who God made your husband to be.  I began dissecting this book and praying & confessing aloud the principles of God’s Word over my husband.  (In my next post I’ll throw in a couple of these prayer confessions.)

All of this prayer has made a huge difference!  I remember reading a Dutch Sheets book that likened prayer to little sticks of dynamite, each one charging the wall of our circumstance.  They all add up!

Praying the Scripture over my marriage has really softened the rough edges of our relationship, smoothed over our differences, and shined up our love life!  I can truly say that we are two new creations in Christ!

How about you?  Maybe you are smooth sailing in your marriage and haven’t hit any bumps in the road.  Maybe you are a 25th anniversary plus veteran!  (If so, please add some comments for the rest of us!)  Maybe you are not currently in a relationship and can store up some wisdom from God’s Word for later (or apply these principles to bless others in your life).  Go ahead and comment!  Be a blessing today!